last friday i might as well have stepped on to my last formal day in class of this very long high school career.
and this coming friday ill be in that school for the last time with this though in my mind..
"it's over."
last exam of the year... i cant wait for that day.
the day of relief.
nevertheless, i cant stress enough in my mind how important these coming exams are.
graduation..
this will sum up every hardship that i did through the 5 years of high school...
the good, the bad and the ridiculously insane times.
my only regret is that i dont get to spend it with the people who mattered most at that time..
my true companions.
What i have learned:
basically... if the question was what was the 5 things that i have come to learn in high school they are this...
1. Chemistry is as hard as fuck-- oh yes, ladies and gentlemen.. i hate chemistry... the only science class i hated.. i partially blame it on the people who instruct chemistry.. they also think its a hard subject and half the time they dont know what theyre talking about.. its like theyre blurting out these random terms and equations.. when i take notes i often doze away in daydream because... well.. im in high school. so its also partially my fault for accepting defeat and never giving chemistry a shot.
2. Calculus is harder than chemistry-- HOLY CRAP! i actually did not find math hard until i got to grade 12.. when i had geometry and calculus... i cant blame this on the teachers.. theyre great... especially when one of them is really, really, really, really, really... smokin hot... as in shes truly overflowing with hotness... which points the finger at me for being distracted in class... all the time. in calculus we got the by the book teacher... as in literally by the book... because well.. he wrote the textbook.. yea.. i remember saying to myself once that whoever wrote a textbook must be one smart person.. well... he is that smart.. i mean theres nothing much to say.. he wrote the calculus textbook which is used by basically every grade 12 student in Ontario.. why did i do bad in that class?
because.. Calculus is harder than chemistry.
3. High School is where you realize who you are-- this may sound a bit too... shall we say... shabby and maybe a little bit false... but i know who i am and what i want to do... i know what i like... i know who to love... who to choose as friends... i know how to do right decisions for myself... i have grown into this person who knows whats good for himself and others.. and im glad im this kind of person...
now i can say that im an artiste, an athlete, a romantic, a good cook, a singer, a good friend, a good person.
self realization is a pain in the ass sometimes.. because you realize negative things about yourself.. (i.e. i really suck at math.. but i think that im good at it)..
4. You can find many definitions of love in high school-- yes, you come across people who are madly in love with someone (or maybe its you) and find that theyre only infatuated with the feeling of what they define as love. i dont really know what it is but i have an idea of what it means.. "the unique sense of care for someone no matter what".
it means you dont necessarily have to be crazily obssessed about her.. you just have to know that you have this intense feeling that cant be controlled, this giddy feeling in your heart that makes it beat faster every time youre together, this strong feeling that makes your hand shake and tremble at first but then gives you the confidence later on that that this person also feels the same way... ohhh... yes... its that feeling. it may not be love.. but its the idea.
5. You want to leave high school but you dont want to-- remember when you were young and you wanted to grow up fast.. (i know i did because i wanted to shave so bad when i was 7 that i wanted to grow up so i can grow a moustache)... and then when you grow up you want to be young and carefree again.. (yea.. i really dont want to shave every three days... coz i just got tired of the whole process)... well its kinda like this.. i can foresee what it would be like in college when everything is harder than chemistry or even calculus.. and when i dont have the time for anything anymore.. not like in high school where most of my assignments are optional... and the courses are easier... and the people are more interesting... i want to leave high school because noone wants to stay in high school forever... but i dont want to leave it because its like leaving behind five wonderful years of my life.. the bonds that i have made, the people i have met, the fun i had.
but then again... i already had that feeling when i left the philippines so this separation might be a little easier to go by.
R.I.P. High School
2002-2007
in loving memory of Bagus | 
